When we hear about stories of a couple’s unfaithfulness, we often ask “Who is to blame?” or “Why do they do that?”, “What makes them behave this way?”. In this article, we collected some points of view of psychologists and the results of scientific experiments to explain some reasons that increase the risk of infidelity. Let’s identify eight factors that make people be a betrayal.
01 – Lack of emotional intimacy
The absence of emotional intimacy such as heart-to-heart conversations or emotional support might lead to unfaithfulness. According to a book by Gary Neuman – a marriage counsellor, there are 47% of his male clients said that one of the reasons make them ch*at is the absence of emotional affection, not s*x. While men do not like to express their deep feelings, their partners cannot realise that they need assistance. The situation is worse when women might realise it way later or even ignore it.
02 – Influence of experience and society
According to an anonymous poll, there are more than 75% of men who have ever experienced adultery stated that their friends betrayed their wives. It can explain the statement that if a person has already had experience with infidelity during their previous relationship, they will be more likely to act the same with a new partner. And, people around also affect one’s tendency toward unfaithfulness.
03 – Boring intimate relationship
One of the most popular reasons that make people commit infidelity is the lack of bright new emotions. There are 70% of men and 49% of women who said that they betrayed their partner because of that reason. Most of them also shared that their relationships were harmonious and happy.
04 – Vulnerability because of the quarter-life crisis
The research indicates that the quarter-life crisis contributes to the unfaithfulness of couples. It usually happens at the age of 29, 39, or 49 — just before the new decade. The quarter-life crisis is when people start summing up the overall results of the past years and become vulnerable to temptation.
However, it does not mean that all men or women will commit adultery when they turn 39. It is just an accompanying factor that can worsen other circumstances that make people betray.
05 – Excessive interest in social networks
When one of the partners spend too much time surfing social media, they will spend less time caring about their loved ones. Instead of spending time having a heart-to-heart conversation or enjoying common hobbies together, they waste too much time on their phone. Besides, virtual relationships can cause arguments and virtual communication can become real. Hence, becomes the risk of infidelity rises and creates a favourable environment for adultery.
06 – Work and business trips
Too busy with works and business trips also create a favourable environment for infidelity. There are more than 30% of ch*ating men who joined in an anonymous poll are serious businessmen who used to ch*at on their beloved women during business trips. And 13% of women have had an affair at work. The likelihood of adultery at work arises during years 6-9 of marriage: these years are the most fragile and generally require a lot of effort.
07 – Lack of oxytocin
Oxytocin, as known as the hug hormone (it rises when we hug and kiss), plays a key role in building and keeping trust in a relationship. Thus, the lack of this hormone may become a cause of fraud.
In one trial, several married men were injected with oxytocin, got acquainted with an attractive woman, and told they could get as close to her as they wanted. Participants that got a hormone dose insisted on a greater distance between them and the woman than those who got a placebo.
08 – I just can’t choose another way
Regardless of age, experience, and other criteria, these people ch*at and justify themselves saying that they can’t behave in any other way. Some people can’t just imagine their life without the adrenaline buzz that accompanies adultery. It is very difficult and almost impossible, to reveal what is the real reasons for this behaviour, especially for some people to be monogamous.
A few more words
Psychologists and specialists indicate that there are some reasons for unfaithfulness, not just one of them. Some couples choose to save their marriage rather than break up. And some marriages become even stronger. It all depends on your choice.