Yes, this is perhaps one of the most common questions when it comes to love. It turns out that love is not completely a “fate” or something mysterious. Scientists have found out that love in fact, is just a combination of biological, chemical, and psychological reactions. When we can create a “right combination”, we are able to manipulate how others feel about us. Like other psychological emotions like fear, joy, or hate, love can be regulated if monitored well. So, how do we use psychological tricks to make others fall in love with us?
01 – Don’t get ice cream on the first date.
You may not believe this right away but let us explain! A social psychologist at Yale University, John Bargh who studies the role of unconscious processing on social behavior, found that our body temperature is positively correlated with our psychological state. For example, we are more likely to be nice and friendly to other people when we are physically warm. This trick may really come in handy in dating. Remember this for your future date, choose cozy places, foods, and drinks so that every meeting you have goes well.
02 – Extended eye contact
How can we measure love? A Harvard psychologist, Zick Rubin, believes that we can find the answer in the eyes. In his study, Rubin found that couples who are deeply in love tend to engage in a longer eye-contact. Couples look at each other 75% of the time during a conversation while casual friends or strangers look at each other 30% – 60% of the time.
Longer eye-contact is not the only effect of being in love. It can also cause love to happen. Here is the reason behind it! When you look at someone long, and often enough, the person’s mind starts to remember what the “love look” is. Their mind is tricked, and it starts thinking romantically about you. Simultaneously, the nervous system begins to produce phenethylamine which causes the love feeling such as a strong heartbeat or “butterflies in the stomach”.
03 – Also, the size of the pupil’s matter.
In an experimental study, scientists showed men two photos of the same woman: one is the original photo, and another is an edited photo in which the woman’s pupils were a little bigger. Interestingly, most men preferred the edited photo more even though they did not notice the difference in pupils). Of course, you can’t change the size of your pupils. However, you can always adjust the condition to make things look right. For example, picking a good restaurant with dim lights or candles instead of places with regular lights.
04 – Tell them something awkward about yourself.
In the first date, couples tend to be hesitant to share something awkward about themselves. However, an open and communicative person has more chances to be liked. In a research by the Harvard Business School, 79% surveyed participants preferred to be genuine and sincere people during their first dates. Respondents said they didn’t hide anything, even their weird habits or awkward stories because it helped to build a special connection and trust.
05 – Create a secret language.
This is really about inside jokes, special words, and unique gestures between people when they find common ground and become truly connected. You should not ignore these little things as they can take your relationship to a whole level, especially when you use them in your everyday communication with your date. Your relationship will become more intimate and even get stronger.
06 – Let them do something for you.
Let’s keep this psychological effect in mind! When we do a good thing for someone, we not only feel good about ourselves, but we also feel more connected with the person we helped. We also justify our effort by convincing ourselves that the person deserves our help and idealizes the helped person. As a result, we develop an emotional anchor, warm emotions towards them, and like the person even more. Of course, we also like it when someone does something nice for us. However, we mostly feel as if we own the person, and we have to do something to pay them back.
07 – Make them miss you: Stay close to them… but not too close.
Spending time together is essential as it helps couples build connections and mutual understanding. Especially at the beginning of a relationship, you two need to spend some quality time together to break the ice and to know each other better. However, psychologists suggest that you should take a break after several dates (even if you don’t want to). Why? First, this small break gives you time for yourself and you won’t get tired of each other. Second, the person gets the chance to appreciate the time being with you. They also realize how nice and important this relationship is to them and won’t take your presence for granted. Third, if you decide to take a break, you can take control of your own emotions and think clearly.
08 – Make a positive association.
Do you know why advertisements keep repeating the same message over and over again? Because it creates echo and tricks people’s minds. You can use this principle to improve a person’s impression of you. The better you present yourself, the more positive image you will leave in their mind a person’s mind even when you are not around. Don’t worry, you don’t have to act perfectly all the time, everyone has their flaws. What really matters here is how you are perceived and how you want to be perceived.
Do you think these tips will be useful? Let us know your opinion in the comment section!