Females and men … We could speak the same language, but that doesn’t mean that we’re understanding each other. A study found that words and phrases when we’re talking can have different meanings for each one of us. That’s why we can’t communicate sometimes without getting into an argument, raising our voice, or throwing pillows (sorry, guys). But if you’re willing to put in some mental effort, you can learn how to communicate better with each other and in the long run, with just a little psychology, save yourself some misunderstandings, tears, and sighs.
To help you have a smoother relationship with your boss, your parent, or your significant other, Learn & Earn is here with 12 pieces of advice.
1.Women: Don’t read between the lines.
There is evidence that, in messages with their mates, women read more into interpersonal meaning. They tend to “read between the lines,” in other words, and attribute values of intimacy and closeness to the words of their partner. On the other hand, men are more literal and might just expect to be on a subject at the center of that conversation.
An example of that would be our illustration above. If he says “Today we have the demi-finals! “That means he does. He doesn’t mean “You ‘re boring, I ‘d rather be with my friends!
Understanding what one wants in a relationship out of a conversation will help bridge the differences. This objective translation will also allow every member of the relationship to feel cherished. More later on …
2.Men: Don’t advise, just listen.
Ah! Ah! The common “You just don’t get it …” Well, perhaps it should be more like, “You just don’t know why.”
Women tend to view communication as a way for their partners to explore their feelings and feel comforted. AKA: She doesn’t want a solution! What matters for her is more about the journey and the conversation itself. To the opposite side of the polar … Men are inclined to think about clear solutions, healthy advice, and want to deliver it as quickly as possible. This allows couples to gain a better understanding of what the other is looking for. He wants to counsel, but she just wants to be heard.
3.Women: Appreciate that he wants to comfort you.
Men: Act like you care.
By putting their energy into solving the problem for her, men will see a problem that needs to be solved and show care for their partner. That means he’ll get analytical, explore different tactics for problem-solving, and try to communicate them to her.
She ‘s just looking for an attentive listener meanwhile. The man might help his relationship by asking heartfelt questions to better understand her and make sure she feels like she’s being listened to (maybe through some nonverbal hints).
4.Women: Understand that men also enjoy some “quality me-time.”
Men are often accused of being uncommunicative or withdrawn, and that may seem true on the surface. But women may have much to gain from understanding the reasons behind this behavior.
If your man seems a bit isolated, this probably means he’s just taking a quick break from his issues. This mini vacay may take the form of a video games marathon, watching television or reading. Don’t worry — just give him space! And make sure he feels like everything is going to be OK by letting him know you ‘re confident he’s on top of things..
5.Men: Make sure she knows you’re listening by giving feedback.
Women and men are different in their way of saying things to one and another. Women are a little more indirect than men, tend to avoid direct accusations, and instead might prefer to launch indirect accusations.
So it may be best for women to be more accurate with their man and for him to delve a little deeper into exactly what they are talking about.
She might not say, for example, “I’m mad about what you said last night at dinner.” Instead, she might opt for a sarcastic remark such as, “Maybe you should think about being nicer during our dates.” If this happens, you might both argue about or defend different things.
6.Men: Make sure she knows you’re listening by giving feedback.
Partners vary in communication styles through verbal responses, physical contact, and eye contact. Generally speaking, men will not put much stress on reaffirming their partner’s listening through eye contact or other verbal indications such as, “aha … Oh, huh … Well, well … Yes, yes …. “.. On the other hand, women place a strong emphasis on this constant feedback to ensure that both parties are engaged in the conversation with themselves and those they ‘re talking to. If you are a guy, Humming could go a long way!
7.Women: Try seeing a task as just a task.
Men: Add some romanticism into the task itself.
Women engage by building trust first by talking and then by participating together in tasks, which they will accomplish because of that trust. Men tend to dismiss this confidence chat and rush straight into the mission of accomplishing a task instead. For example: If they need to work with their boss, even if they don’t like her, they’ll do it.
Both parties stand to gain from taking a step back and seeing their significant other behaviors and acting with additional empathy at all times. They may both have the same goal in mind but there are different ways and speeds to get there!
8.Women: Understand that men often need to be doing something while they chat.
Men tend to communicate while doing so, and the activity itself is central to fostering an emotionally open-minded sense. Meanwhile, while speaking, women feel closer-they can go without a secondary activity. Recognizing this may help women understand when their partner tries to make an argument before, or even in the middle of, it. He might just be looking for a better environment to discuss the matter, while she’s trying to discuss it all right now!
9.Men: Don’t hesitate to ask for help.
They may perceive the need to ask for assistance as a reflection of their inability to achieve anything. Meanwhile, offering to counsel to women is perceived as a sign of caring for someone else. To bridge this gap, it may help to be as clear about your intentions as possible, rather than just allowing the other person to assume that you are trying to help as a way of pointing out their weakness to them. Yikes … Yikes!
So let’s take a look at the above illustration, as an example. Imagine he trying to solve a problem on his computer. Don’t just say, “You ‘re wrong, you need my help.” Instead, try saying, “I’ve had that bug before, want me to check it out and see if I can fix it?
10.Women: Realize that men are selective listeners.
They ‘re what we call “selective listeners.” This point is linked to the previous point about men trying to solve problems — they ‘re only going to listen long enough to ask as much as they think they need to find a solution. On the other hand, women show greater appreciation for verbal and non-verbal indications and may be offended in the absence of those 2.
11.Women: Don’t let your anger accumulate.
Men “compartmentalize,” while women consider each argument to be part of a larger whole. In other words, men are perfectly fine to argue about a particular topic, letting it go and moving on to a second topic without much thought about the previous argument lingering in their mind. While it is likely that a woman will carry her anger to the next item on the list. It may help both to understand that this is not just her “not letting go” or “forgetting about it.” Instead, both relationship members simply understand issues and relationships differently between them.
12.Women and men: Welcome your partner’s communication style.
Although nearly all of us have succumbed to the previous points, it is also important to recognize that different people (regardless of gender) have different styles of communication. Some may be more competitive communicators, be alright with challenges, and be direct in communication with them. Others may be more affiliate communicators, meaning they fall into the group of people who enjoy requesting feedback from others, they like listening to all sides and generally avoid conflict. So remember that your partner is unique too.
How do you better understand guys? What do you think are the biggest flaws in communication between women and men?