According to psychology, self-esteem and self-confidence are two separate things. We may be very self-confident but still having very low self-esteem, as shown by many celebrities who will impress in front of thousands of people but still harm themselves by leading an unhealthy lifestyle. Our self-esteem can be affected by our partner in a relationship, and they can play a role in both undermining and increasing it for us.
Even our partners’ best intentions may create problems in our relationships, as we discovered . Let’s take a closer look at these scenarios.
1 – Makes choices with an excessive amount of initiative.
Even if you are a person who dislikes making choices, you will find it is important for both of you to share in making a decision. If your partner takes their own choice, they might be giving you a message that it’s not worth it to ask you since you do not even know enough about the issue or they wouldn’t trust your opinion. This can be anything from searching out new curtains for your apartment or choosing when to go on vacation: they will always make their own choices.
2 – Selects images for social network posting without checking if you like them.
When your partner compliments you for how you look even if you’re sleepy, ill, or in your sweatpants, it’s nice. However, social media is certainly a public platform, and there are moments that you just don’t want anyone else to see pictures of you that you don’t consider are particularly flattering. When your partner doesn’t ask you before sharing these pictures, you may view it as a desire to portray you in a negative way while promoting themselves, which can be a devastating blow to your self-esteem. Even if they really wished the best for you, it’s still better to make a joint decision on photographs.
3 – Interrupts you in the middle of a conversation.
Interrupting is impolite. They sometimes don’t really mean anything when they do that; they’re either so excited or afraid of forgetting what they’ve thought. Interrupting others, on the other hand, makes them feel as though you weren’t paying attention and that what they were attempting to convey is unimportant. Is there something more depressing than finding that no one is involved in what you’re trying to say? If this occurs frequently, you will begin to believe that there is no point in talking at all.
4 – Having doubts in your choices.
They may be annoyed by the tiniest of items. They may believe they are being helpful by constantly asking if your outfit is suitable for the weather: “Are you sure you don’t need your boots to get warmer?” It may even be a little more persistent: “Babe, you don’t want to leave jobs. It’s cool, and I think a lot of people will like working there.”
It can seem nice on the surface, and they really mean well, but after the millionth time, it’s like, “Does he think I’m a kid who can’t make reasonable decisions?” They make you believe you’re incapable of behaving independently because of their relentless suspicions, and they could be “killing” your capacity to make choices on your own.
5 – Using derogatory body language (like rolling their eyes).
Body language is an important tool. When it comes to pleasant and private conversation, it really speaks volumes. Rolling their eyes could mean “What you just said is absurd,” which you could translate as “You’re dumb, and I hate you in my thoughts.” If we’re talking about body language, crossing the arms, glaring at a phone screen as a partner is speaking, or simply being irritated are all indications that they’re thinking “I don’t care,” “stop talking,” or worse.
6 – Becoming unconcerned with stuff that is important to you.
Maybe you’re a budding singer or musician who just needs your partner to come to your show and encourage you along. You might simply want them to participate in certain common household activities or go for a walk together. However, they dislike art and would rather sit at home than go out, because even their body language suggests, “I’d rather die than do your thing.”
In a relationship, couples must sometimes put up with each other and strive to be cooperative. Otherwise, you view their message as them being unconcerned with things that matter to you, and maybe that your happiness isn’t a big enough priority for them. Lack of understanding will erode your self-esteem.
7 – Always making recommendations
Constant recommendations are often interpreted as an indication that we are paying attention, that we care for what is going on, and that we are supportive. In fact, your partner might be so insistent on recommending that you do anything other than what you’ve decided, that you begin to believe that you’ll never get it right. Bad consequences amid positive intentions. If they wait before you directly ask for a recommendation, on the other hand, it’s a positive indication that they value your decisions.
8 – Treats you as though you’re a kid.
When one adult speaks down to the other as though they’re a young kid, it’s not really fun. When your partner behaves like this in public or even in private, you can feel over-embarrassed and belittled. People feel devalued and insignificant as a result of this attitude. Your companion is not treating you with the dignity you deserve if they talk to you in this manner.
9 – The bulk of your proposals are dismissed by your partner.
Saying no is cool, according to psychologists, and more people should do it. If your partner, on the other hand, says “no” to any suggestion you have, they aren’t being helpful or positive, and this will seriously damage your self-esteem. It’s difficult to believe you have a good idea when you hear “no” any time you say anything or entertain the idea of doing something fun. You begin to believe that you should not have the right to choose your own pleasure and comfort.
10 – They double-check or redo what you’ve already completed.
If you follow your partner around and double-check or redo everything they just did, you’re effectively telling them that they can’t manage anything. Yeah, it’s good to double-check things now and then, especially if they’re linked to safety, but you shouldn’t undervalue your partner’s efforts if the job is done well. If you just can’t stop yourself, at the very least re-wash a plate or re-make the bed while they aren’t around.
11 – Their comments and acts are never in sync, leaving you guessing.
Your partner suggests seeing a cool movie together or purchasing new furniture for your home, and you are delighted that you can have a good time or create something for your home together. Then they suddenly shift their minds and demand that you change your arrangements or postpone them without offering you a justification. This makes you sound like you’re the one who’s to blame for the abrupt change. Perhaps you mentioned anything inadvertently that caused them to shift their minds? Your self-worth is seriously damaged by this action.
12 – They offer you excessive guidance or assistance.
If you excel at something, your partner may become jealous of your accomplishments and try to hold you back. This kind of mentality eats away at your self-esteem. They may continuously give their assistance or provide you with unnecessary advice in order to demonstrate that they know much better and can do better. Since you’re still hesitant because of this intrusion, you can’t fulfill your goals or attain success. You continue to feel as though you require their assistance all of the time because your own skills and talents are clearly inadequate.
13 – They are adamant on not arguing.
If your partner wants to fight, it’s safe to assume they don’t believe something is worth battling over. Whether they always close the debate or tell something like, “I don’t really want to talk over this with you,” they’re giving the message that they’re either correct or don’t care what you have to suggest. You could feel useless as a result of this. They don’t have to fight, but they should give you a chance to talk.
14 – Losing track of your emotions.
Your partner may be stressing out from life, depressed at work, or anxious about something. It’s not right, though, to take it out on you. They make you sound like it’s your fault when they’re always lonely, unhappy, or impatient. You may only chalk things up to them not loving you or the fact that you can’t make them comfortable. However, it is not your duty to ensure their satisfaction, and they must, of necessity, express their feelings. However, everything must still be articulated correctly to prevent a scenario in which you take it personally due to a lack of information.
15 – Their affection is conditional.
It’s easy to feel like you’re not good enough for your partner if you’re constantly trying to earn their love and approval. You try to do the best thing every day when you wake up. This type of behavior is not indicative of a happy relationship. Your partner isn’t behaving in a loving manner toward you. You should stop entering into a partnership where you feel compelled to succeed in order to be loved. You are worthy of love for who you are rather than what you can accomplish. What is it about that other people say or do that makes you feel insecure?